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Be Strong

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for capital and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a lady in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, mind you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

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Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"

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Little Johnny comes dwelling one day and says, "Mom! Small Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped prefer a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."

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Q: How can you say if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the sound and blows the guard.

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making admire one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to link him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, "I can't trust you! We just finish making admire and you advance in here and jack-off!" Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng

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What''s the difference between a homosexual rodeo and a direct rodeo? At a linear rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I wish 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young human. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't gain rid of the preference, nothing will."

A biker walks into a gay block and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"? "What are you talking about" the biker replies. "You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and angle over and if you can fart the kicks well." The gay guy goes first to display. The biker states "I can do that and even better." He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay g

Gay Jokes

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Q: How do 5 lgbtq+ men walk?
A: One Direction!

Q: What do you call a gay drive by?
A: "a fruit roll up."

Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.

Q: What do you name a gay cowboy?
A: A Jolly Rancher!

Q: Why are most politicans in the closet or gay?
A: Because they can only mandate.

Q: Why are gays happy that they have nutsacks
A: Because they use them as mudflaps.

Q: How do you fit three homosexuals on one barstool?
A: Turn it upside-down!

Q: How can you catch a gay squirrel?
A: Mount a tree and fictional to be an almond (botanically speaking, almonds are fruits).

Q: What do homosexual kids get for Christmas?
A: Erection Sets.

Q: What do you call a homosexual dentist?
A: Tooth fairy

Q: Did you overhear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
A: He was playing with too many strokes.

Q: Why is Katie Holmes divorcing Tom